League of Extraordinary Zeroes — Game Session — 002

Game summary for April 25, 2025, League of Extraordinary Zeroes campaign, Dread Roleplaying Game, for Expeditions-R-Us. Session included: April Ludgate (Zero played by Ellie Edmonds as secondary), April Ludgate (Zero played by Kayla Stout-Harmon), Jar Jar Binks (Zero played by Ellie Edmonds), Paul Blart (Zero played by Aaron Elliott), Peter Griffin (Zero played by John Edmonds), Waluigi (Zero played by Ellie Edmonds as secondary), and Waluigi (Zero played by Spencer Ford). Game Master for this session was Charles Plemons.

The League of Extraordinary Zeroes found themselves trapped at the snowbound Larchpine Lodge, where a freak blizzard had cut them off from the outside world. Supplies were limited, temperatures were dropping, and something ancient and malevolent lurked within the storm. During a chaotic night, a mysterious figure named Nick—wild-eyed, frostbitten, and covered in pine sap—crashed through the cabin chimney, raving about a monstrous creature called the Hollow Hare.

While attempting to “help” (and mostly cause more problems), the Zeroes tried to block the chimney, salt the windows, and interrogate (or just pester) the mysterious Nick—whom many were convinced was actually Santa Claus. After various hijinks involving licking peppermint staffs, experimenting with old sleepover pranks, and rearranging furniture with reckless abandon, part of the group ventured into the blizzard to check neighboring cabins.

At another cabin, they heroically (and clumsily) kicked down a door, terrifying the occupants and leading to an altercation involving a fireplace poker. On the icy trek to the main lodge, Jar Jar slipped, horribly breaking his leg in a bone-protruding, gut-wrenching fall. Napoleon Dynamite managed to set Jar Jar’s leg back at the lodge with a surprising amount of skill (he once watched his uncle set a rhinoceros bone, after all).

However, a series of poor choices led the team to assault poor Buddy O’Malley, the eternally cheerful lodge manager, knocking him unconscious and kidnapping him back to their cabin—all while evading a revolver-wielding groundskeeper, Samuel.

Back at their cabin, they finally learned from a now more coherent Nick (revealed to indeed be St. Nicholas) that the Hollow Hare, a monstrous spirit of corrupted Spring, was about to break free and spread madness through its evil eggs. To rebind the creature, they had to complete a series of rituals.

Their first mission? Dance around the “Hollow Tree” while singing Christmas carols and ringing a sleigh bell. Despite the howling blizzard, freezing temperatures, and Jar Jar’s makeshift sled journey, the Zeroes successfully performed the ritual at the ancient tree—weakening the Hollow Hare’s hold over the area, but at a terrible cost. The storm strengthened, and darker threats stirred in the snowy woods…

After completing the ritual at the Hollow Tree, the Zeroes noticed the storm intensifying, and they struggled back to their cabin through deepening snow. With Jar Jar lashed to a makeshift sled crafted from a refrigerator door, the group set out once again into the frozen wilderness.  Samuel emerged from the woods and shot and killed Jar Jar, but the rest escaped!  Back at the cabin, Nick explained the next part of the ritual needed to occur at the Cavern of the Hare.

On the way to the cavern, they encountered the Hollow Hare itself—a monstrous, towering creature of roots, antlers, and bloodied blossoms. The Hollow Hare told them Nick was actually Old Nick, or Satan Claus.  Doubts gnawed at the group, and the Zeroes made a fateful decision: they would switch sides. Joined by Paul Blart on an all-terrain Segway, they rushed back to the Hollow Tree.  Old Nick, however, intercepted and pleaded with them to help him and finish the other ritual.  They refused, so he demanded his peppermint staff and key, which they would not return.  He ordered his deadly fiery-hooved reindeer to kill them and get his stuff. 

Paul began leading one in circles, April was impaled and killed, and Peter tamed one with a chocolate egg.  They undid the ritual, weakening Old Nick and then attacked him as a group.  He was defeated by impalement from a chocolate-addled reindeer.  The ritual undone, the power of Spring returned… and empowered the real villain, the Hollow Hare!  It began consuming people and growing larger until it devoured the world thanks to the blundering of the League of Extraordinary Zeroes!

Chronoshift: Spelljammer — Game Session — 129

Game summary for April 22, 2025, Chronoshift: Spelljammer campaign, Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, for Phoenix Gaming Club. Session included: Callum Spellhardt (Human Sorcerer played by Parker Harmon), Finch Bloodrain (Half-Hobgoblin Slayer played by Peyton Harmon), Hekera Nephera Mawhesk Vyk’sebekenka (Sebek-ka Fighter played by Preston Harmon), Hwrulf (Human Unchained Barbarian played by Paul Potter), Notch Bowman (Human Fighter played by Andrew Renfrow), and Snagyndar Blackthorn (Huldran War Master played by Casey Scruggs). Game Master for this session was Charles Plemons.

🏛️ Legal Wrangling at the Citadel

Following their detention in connection to the violent scene at Professor Tormak’s home, the party remained under scrutiny—until Vinnie Getz arrived with freshly minted barrister Leo Gambini, who delivered a rambling but strangely effective legal defense. With barely a thread of logic (and a lot of yelling), the charges were dropped, and Captain-General Sental Nurev ordered the group released, albeit with a warning.

As the party stepped outside, Finch reappeared—bloody, battered, but alive.


⚰️ Finchs Tale: Death, Capture, and Escape

Finch recounted the harrowing events the rest of the party had not witnessed:

  • After entering Tormak’s manor alone, he was ambushed and killed in mere seconds.
  • His contingent spell triggered breath of life, bringing him back to life.
  • The assailants bound him and led him away, arguing over his identity and discussing the “prize”—which they believed the professor could help them find.
  • They also mentioned Tormak’s daughter as a backup target.
  • The assailants failed to finish searching the house and only retrieved a letter, which Finch was able to tear in half and steal back before escaping.
  • Using his earth elemental belt, Finch transformed and earth-glided back to safety.

The enemies are associated with the Scarlet Brotherhood, a known terroristic faction.


📜 The Letter Fragment

The group read the salvaged portion of the professor’s letter. Key revelations included:

  • Tormak had once encountered a tablet fragment rumored to be part of a powerful weapon.
  • His encrypted journal is hidden in the vaults of the Guild of Wizardry, and only he and his daughter Adeline know how to decode it.
  • He feared for his life and asked his friend to locate Adeline should anything happen to him.

🧭 Gathering Clues

Determined to find Adeline and the journal before the Scarlet Brotherhood, the party pursued several leads:

  • They returned to Mirre Soot-Eyes, their candle-smuggler contact, who confirmed the Scarlet Brotherhood is active across the southern continents—particularly in Hepmonaland.
  • With no immediate trail to follow, they attempted to visit city archives to find records of the Tormak family, hoping to learn Adeline’s whereabouts.

Unfortunately, attempts to diplomatically gain help from archivists went poorly (with three players critically failing their skill checks), until Finch, ironically fresh from resurrection, successfully located birth and tax records:

  • Tormak was a native of Greyhawk.
  • His daughter, Adeline Tormak, is 22 years old and currently a university student in Clerkberg, the temple and university district of Greyhawk.

📚 The Grey College Search

Following their release from custody and Finch’s dramatic return, the party resumed their mission to track down Adeline Tormak, daughter of the missing professor and the only known person who could decipher his encrypted journal.

Their investigation led them to Grey College in Clerkberg, where they spoke with university staff. Initially, their inquiries were rebuffed due to strict record-keeping laws. However, after some persistent (and much more charming) diplomacy, Snagyndar persuaded a clerk to notify campus security.

Though the staff wouldn’t break protocol, they agreed to have Adeline located and told about the party—only to later confirm the worst: Adeline was also missing.


🏛️ The Guild of Wizardry and the Trade for Knowledge

Determined not to waste time, the group traveled to the Guild of Wizardry, a massive arcane pyramid guarded by dwarven porters and open only to guild members or those with appointments to trade magic.

Using their credentials and silver tongues, the party met with Kondradis Bubka, the “Mage of Exchange.” They negotiated a deal: in exchange for 6,000 gold pieces and the Apostolic Scrolls of Kyuss, Bubka granted them Professor Tormak’s encrypted journal from the vaults.

The group now held the key to unlocking the professor’s knowledge—if they could find Adeline and her cipher.


🔁 Return to the Garden Quarter and Ambush!

Their final move of the evening: return to the Garden District, to the same street where Finch had been ambushed. The party hoped to retrace his steps and potentially pick up the attackers’ trail.

Instead, the trail found them.

As they approached the manor house, the shadows stirred—and armed thugs stepped out to confront them. It became immediately clear that this was no random mugging. These were the same men—or their allies—who had attacked Finch, and the confrontation was inevitable.

The session ended on the brink of combat once again.

Chronoshift: Spelljammer — Game Session — 128

Game summary for April 15, 2025, Chronoshift: Spelljammer campaign, Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, for Phoenix Gaming Club. Session included: Callum Spellhardt (Human Sorcerer played by Parker Harmon), Finch Bloodrain (Half-Hobgoblin Slayer played by Peyton Harmon), Hekera Nephera Mawhesk Vyk’sebekenka (Sebek-ka Fighter played by Preston Harmon), Helg Ingvar (Aasimar Cleric played by Chris Harmon), Hwrulf (Human Unchained Barbarian played by Paul Potter), Notch Bowman (Human Fighter played by Andrew Renfrow), and Snagyndar Blackthorn (Huldran War Master played by Casey Scruggs). Game Master for this session was Charles Plemons.

🛬 Arrival at Oerth and Docking in Greyhawk

The party arrived at Oerth aboard The Shooting Star, careful to conceal its spelljamming nature. Following common custom, the crew landed in water under cover of night and then sailed up the Selintan River to dock in the Free City of Greyhawk.

Upon arrival, they were greeted by an official from the city’s port authority. The group:

  • Declared the vessel, paid docking fees (5 gp/day) and a “free sword tax” (3 gp per non-citizen under arms).
  • Paid for 2 days of docking (totaling 46 gp).
  • Learned that weapons such as swords, bows, and axes require licensing, while daggers, darts, slings, staves, clubs, and knives are permitted without a license.
  • Were informed spellcasting is allowed for beneficial or incapacitating effects, but damaging magic is treated the same as physical assault.

The party opted to leave most major weapons aboard the ship or hidden via magical means. They decided to have Vinnie Getz attempt to obtain licenses from the Citadel on their behalf—what could possibly go wrong?


🔍 Splitting the Party in the City

With dock business handled, the group split into two partial unarmed teams—what could possibly go wrong?

Team Tavern – Green Dragon Inn

  • Several party members visited Ricard’s Green Dragon Inn in the River Quarter.
  • Described as rough but lively, the inn was full of mercenaries, gamblers, and minstrels.
  • The bartender issued clear rules: no drawing weapons, no cheating at cards, no asking too many questions.
  • Over drinks, the party listened for rumors and picked up interesting intel:
    • The Embalmers and Gravediggers’ Guildmaster, Selczek Gobayuik, is hiring extra muscle due to corpses rising with green worms—possibly related to the Kyuss threat.
    • The Circle of Eight (notable archmages including Mordenkainen, Bigby, and Drawmij) is allegedly hunting a cabal of dragon sorcerers gaining power in the city.
    • A secret group is polymorphing people into exotic creatures, then killing them and selling the exotic parts.
    • Allegedly, Zarak the assassin has returned from a stint in Granite Mountain Prison, and war is coming to the local thieves’ guilds!

Team Candle – Investigating Professor Tormak

  • Meanwhile, Snagy, Helg, and Hekera visited a contact: Mirre Soot-Eyes, a raspy-voiced coughing candle maker with a side business in smuggling and information.
  • Mirre greeted Snagy with sarcastic affection (she remembered his name being Snatchy) and agreed to help—after a gold coin was discreetly slid across the table.
  • She seemed particularly taken with Helg and his nearly glowing radiance. 
  • She’d never heard of Professor Arlen Tormak directly, but speculated he might reside in the High Quarter, Garden Quarter, or Cleric Quarter, depending on his lifestyle and affiliations.
  • She recommended they speak to Ambrose, a guard at the Garden Quarter gate, who might be able to help identify Tormak’s location.

🏘️ Tormak’s House, a Vanishing Slayer, and a Visit to the Citadel

Following up on their lead from Mirre Soot-Eyes, the crew traveled to the Garden Quarter Gate where they met Ambrose, a guard with a lax demeanor and a reasonable price for “looking the other way.” After some friendly coaxing and coin, Ambrose confirmed that Professor Arlen Tormak did in fact live nearby—just a few blocks into the Garden Quarter.

The party made their way to the professor’s townhouse, a small but well-kept manor nestled near a small temple of Boccob. But the scene was anything but peaceful. Through one of the ground floor windows, the team spotted overturned furniture and a bloody smear on a support pillar just inside. The house wasn’t just abandoned—it was clearly the site of a recent and violent attack.

Recognizing the danger and not wanting to escalate things with Greyhawk authorities, Helg voluntarily returned to the Garden Gate (about a five minute walk) and reported the signs of foul play to Ambrose, who responded quickly. The Greyhawk watchman gathered a team of guards and, for Helg’s safety, escorted him out of the Garden Quarter, back toward the River Quarter while they investigated.

Meanwhile, the rest of the party remained near the house, as Finch consumed a potion of pass without trace and slipped into the manor to investigate alone—what could possibly go wrong?  They watched him look around the crime scene and then creep further into the house. He never returned—no shouts, just gone.

When Ambrose and his guard detail arrived at the house, they entered through the front and found a grim scene inside: signs of a struggle, blood throughout the floor, and a trail leading to the back door. Outside, standing with the rest of the party, the guards quickly realized: the person they had just let through the gate—Finch—was no longer with the group. Now both Finch and Helg were absent.

Deeming it a matter of public security, the guards detained the group and escorted them to the Citadel for questioning.

And as fate would have it, who should be exiting the Citadel at that exact moment?

Vinnie Getz, arms full of permits and paperwork, looking proud of himself and mildly disheveled from wrestling with bureaucracy.  “Hey! There ya are—I got everything! Got your weapon licenses, spellcasting declarations, three different inspection seals—oh… hey. Where’s Glowstick and Scythe Guy?”

He was told Helg was escorted back to the River Quarter and they were unsure where Finch had gone.  They demanded Vinnie go and find a barrister, and he freaked out a bit but told them he knew a guy.  He said he’d get help and to not go anywhere… 


🎒 Session Highlights

  • Vinnie Getz: Sent off to get weapons licensed. Unsupervised. Again.
  • Weapon Policy: Strict but manageable; damage-dealing spells count as violence.
  • Callum: Not eaten by anything at any point.
  • Finch:Gone.  Just gone. 
  • Hekera: Turned in his weapons, but with his teeth, he was far from unarmed. 
  • Helg: Earned compliments on his glow… from Mirre.
  • Hwrulf:Overheard several interesting rumors. 
  • Notch: In the moment of need revealed he is not a very practiced barrister. 
  • Snagy: Reconnected with his candle smuggler friend.
  • Rumors: Undead rising with worms, dragon sorcerers infiltrating the city, and designer polymorphed cadaver trade.

Chronoshift: Spelljammer — Game Session — 127

Game summary for April 8, 2025, Chronoshift: Spelljammer campaign, Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, for Phoenix Gaming Club. Session included: Callum Spellhardt (Human Sorcerer played by Parker Harmon), Finch Bloodrain (Half-Hobgoblin Slayer played by Peyton Harmon), Hekera Nephera Mawhesk Vyk’sebekenka (Sebek-ka Fighter played by Preston Harmon), Helg Ingvar (Aasimar Cleric played by Chris Harmon), Hwrulf (Human Unchained Barbarian played by Paul Potter), and Notch Bowman (Human Fighter played by Andrew Renfrow). Game Master for this session was Charles Plemons.

💥 Part I – Through Rock and Ruin: Astereater Skill Challenge

As The Shooting Star approached the outer reaches of Greyspace, the serene expanse of Wildspace gave way to a floating gauntlet of asteroids. Oddly patterned… unsettlingly still… then one of them blinked.

The party found themselves in a skill challenge navigating a field of dormant astereaters—predatory space-beasts camouflaged as debris. They had three rounds to spot dangers, maneuver the ship, and avoid a sneak attack.

  • Callum’s eagle-eyed scan from the crow’s nest (Perception 37) gave everyone +2 on all checks.
  • Hekera’s deep-space expertise (Knowledge 35) revealed optimal skill paths and earned another party bonus.
  • Notch landed a natural 20 on Escape Artist, earning double success.
  • Finch, Helg, and Hwrulf each contributed with Knowledge, Perception, and clever substitutions.

🧮 Final Tally:
✅ 16 Successes | ❌ 10 Failures
📉 Result: Avoided surprise attack but suffered 10 hull damage from flying debris.


⚔️ Part II – Battle with the Astereater

The crew had barely caught their breath when the largest “asteroid” split open, revealing gnarled teeth, slimy tentacles, and an impossibly wide maw.

The astereater attacked.

  • Callum was swallowed whole, suffering acid damage until the creature expelled him back onto the deck.
  • Finch transformed using his earth elemental belt, unleashing brutal unarmed strikes.
  • Helg cast an astounding searing light
  • Notch lined up the perfect shot and delivered the killing blow, dropping the beast with a thunderous bolt.
  • The others pressed hard, cutting the monster down before it could chew its way through the ship.

🎒 Loot: Dissection revealed a 500 gp amethyst intact in the creature’s gullet.


🚢 Part III – Elven Imperial Navy Boarding

Three days later, the Shooting Star dropped out of spelljamming speed near Oerth—only to be intercepted by two man-o-war class vessels:

  • Moonfire Sentinel
  • Starblade

Aboard were elven officers of the Elven Imperial Navy, who hailed the ship and demanded immediate boarding and inspection. Outnumbered and outgunned, the crew complied.

The inspection was tense. Uniformed elves scoured the deck and quarters, speaking with practiced calm and clear authority.

  • The crew’s paperwork was reviewed.
  • Cargo manifests checked out.
  • Vinnie started fast-talking.
  • Suspicious glances were cast at several of the crew (including at Hwrulf as he scrambled to hide the letter).

But ultimately… no contraband was discovered.  The elves asked lots of questions about the party, their route, drow, orcs, and goblins. 

The ship was deemed clean. The elves issued a final warning: several elven man-o-war ships were destroyed in Greyspace recently by something. With that, the elven ships departed, slipping back into the void with unnerving silence.


🧭 Heroic Highlights – Quick Recap

⭐ Skill Challenge

  • Callum: Master spotter (+2 party bonus)
  • Finch: Escape Artist specialist
  • Hekera: Navigational pathfinder
  • Helg: Divine domain skill-swapping
  • Hwrulf: Intuitive effort, high energy
  • Notch: Natural 20 Escape Artist

⚔️ Astereater Combat

  • Callum: Swallowed and returned fire
  • Finch: Earth elemental fists of fury
  • Hekera: Brutal swipe of the passing creature
  • Helg: Multiple spells cast
  • Hwrulf: Raged and spelled up; secured loot
  • Notch: Delivered the final blow

🔮 Next Time on Chronoshift: Spelljammer…

  • Will the crew locate Professor Tormak in the Free City of Greyhawk?
  • What truths lie buried in Hepmonaland’s lost ruins?
  • And has the Shooting Star finally earned a moment of peace—or is the storm just beginning?

Chronoshift: Spelljammer — Game Session — 126

Game summary for April 1, 2025, Chronoshift: Spelljammer campaign, Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, for Phoenix Gaming Club. Session included: Callum Spellhardt (Human Sorcerer played by Parker Harmon), Finch Bloodrain (Half-Hobgoblin Slayer played by Peyton Harmon), Hekera Nephera Mawhesk Vyk’sebekenka (Sebek-ka Fighter played by Preston Harmon), Helg Ingvar (Aasimar Cleric played by Chris Harmon), Hwrulf (Human Unchained Barbarian played by Paul Potter), and Snagyndar Blackthorn (Huldran War Master played by Casey Scruggs). Game Master for this session was Charles Plemons.

🦑 Killer Calamari and the Battle for The Shooting Star

The stars had barely begun to blur as The Shooting Star cruised toward Oerth when a massive shadow drifted in from the void—a tentacled leviathan, its limbs coiled with wet scuttling crabs and acidic wildspace kelp, slammed into the ship without warning. In seconds, the hull shuddered, the deck erupted into chaos, and the crew was thrown into a desperate struggle to repel the attack.

Behind the assault, two distinct types of scavvers—fanged wildspace predators—circled in close formation. A brown fling-shard scavver flared with shimmering pressure before exploding a burst of skin razors at the crew, while a barnacle-encrusted hammerhead variant launched itself straight at the cleric Helg, intent on swallowing him whole.


⚔️ Chaos on the Deck

Callum was the first to feel the enemy’s strength. A tentacle wrapped around his body, yanking him into the air and nearly crushing the breath from his lungs. He tried to cast dimension door, but the pressure was too much—he lost the spell. It wasn’t until he was safely back on the deck, bloodied but defiant, that he retaliated. From the crow’s nest, he unleashed Dalamar’s lightning lance at one of the giant crabs scuttling across the deck, splintering it with a crackling blast of arcane fury.

Finch, recognizing the danger and needing muscle over finesse, activated his earth elemental belt, transforming into a hulking, rocky figure. He dropped his scythe in the moment of shifting and dove straight into the fray. With no time to retrieve it, he used his elemental fists, delivering blow after pulverizing blow. Later, he and Snagyndar maneuvered to flank a fling-shard scavver, cutting it down with clean teamwork and raw physicality.

Snagyndar, ever the battlefield tactician, opened the fight with a devastating critical shot from his bow, catching one scavver mid-dive and spraying gore into the air bubble. Though he didn’t need to order them, he kept a sharp eye on the giff marines, who moved in unison to man the heavy catapult turret. With calm precision, they launched a boulder that struck a scavver full in the flank, causing it to shriek with pain.

Helg weathered a brutal assault from the hammerhead scavver, whose jagged jaws found seams in his armor—but not deep enough. With stoic resolve, he called down a flame strike upon the void leviathan, incinerating the crabs clinging to its bulk. One charred crab was hurled back at him, slashing deep into his shoulder with surprising precision. Still, Helg stood firm and used a heal spell to cure his injuries.

Hekera, having quaffed his potion of enlarge person, strode into battle with terrifying reach. He waded through kelp and crab alike, his blade cleaving swaths of carnage through the attacking host. Each swing shook the deck. His presence alone forced the pseudo-kraken to reposition—too slow to dodge, too aggressive to retreat.

Hwrulf, already grinning before the first blade was drawn, entered a barbarian rage the moment the hammerhead scavver lunged for Helg. With a howl and a blur of steel, he hacked the creature apart, driving it into the planks with a geyser of ichor. Later, he scrambled across the deck to pry away a patch of acidic wildspace kelp, saving a chunk of the ship’s hull with a belaying pin and brute strength.


🎒 Aftermath & Loot

As the last scavver spiraled away into the darkness, the crew caught their breath, blood steaming in the cold of wildspace. They quickly searched the battlefield—and found something curious: a leather backpack caught in the fins of one of the floating scavver corpses. It was reeled in carefully, still glistening with frost and void residue.

What was inside? Several magic items from a previous victim.


🧭 Heroic Highlights (Quick Recap)

  • Callum – Grappled early, later delivered a decisive lightning lance blast.
  • Finch – Fought as an earth elemental with powerful unarmed strikes.
  • Snagyndar – Scored a critical hit and helped flank/kill a scavver.
  • Helg – Landed a flame strike and healed himself after absorbing brutal hits.
  • Hekera – Enlarged himself and dominated the melee with sweeping reach.
  • Hwrulf – Entered rage, killed the hammerhead scavver, and removed deck hazards.
  • Giff Marines – Fired the heavy catapult with precision, smashing a scavver mid-battle.